Are You Being The Adult?

One challenge with being a team leader is that people treat you differently: 1. You throw out an idea, and folks are hesitant to comment. 2. You ask for feedback on your leadership, and you get nada. 3. You want the team to initiate their own ideas for improving things, but they always wait for your direction.  There’s a lot going on in the dynamic of boss and team interactions – not least that we have tremendous power over others.   

A helpful insight comes from psychologist, Eric Berne’s, observation in the 1970s that people always act, albeit unwittingly, as Parents, Children, or Adults. Dynamically, when we experience someone as the Parent, we are unconsciously drawn to behave like a Child. But we don’t want our team members to be Compliant…or Rebellious! We want them to act like Adults; to be responsible, to take initiative, and to bring their best thinking to the table.

The good news is that when we are experienced as the Adult, it brings out the Adult in others.  So, as team leaders, it’s up to us to relate to others as equals even though we are technically their boss. See if you can observe Parent, Child, and Adult interactions around you.  You might be surprised at how helpful this can be ;-)